There's more to me than ACC ... but not this week!

I wrote a letter to the author of the above petition about a week ago... am going to paste a copy of the letter I wrote him below. Am normally a private person, but have got to the point that I am scared about what it is happening and whether I am going to make it through alive... I decided today, that at least if something happens to me, then there is at least some record of my story... so first post, first blog, bit nervous, but see below...


12 October 2009
"Hello, My name is Danielle ..........,
I am 31 years old and am a suviviour of sexual trauma. I got your email address off the petition I signed several days ago. I have a very compelling story for there to be a much more comprehensive plan/options available for people with sensitive claims than the plan/options being suggested presently. I feel very strongly that the proposed changes are way off base, and I believe that I have an educated opinion and of course that I understand that it can't just be open ended with no guidelines. I have had an ACC sensitive claim approved for many years. It took me several years before I felt able to take advantage of the counselling available. I have now been in ACC funded counselling for four years, after about 15 years of no support, no therapy and 10-20 years of coping my own way with dealing with my life with no acknowledgement and a progressive serious of very unhelpful and dangerous coping mechanisms. If not for the therapy that I have recieved, and currently recieve I know for a fact that I would not be alive now, and there were some very close calls.
It has taken time for me to be able to learn how to stay alive and work on having a life worth living. I have a fantastic and well respected team of people now after literally begging for help from other public services years ago and not recieving what I needed or asked for 95% of the time.
Up until a few years ago I had no idea of the assistance that I could make use of and that I was entitled to to deal with the problems in my life associated with what had happened to me, it is only through desperation, tenacity and what I have lately become to see as good luck that I have ended up on the path of recovery. I say good luck because I find it hard to attribute a 'choice of disfunction' to the victims of sexual violation that end up living with shame, confusion, anxiety and fear, often leading to disfuntional lives. I don't know the statistics but from personal experience and interaction with others I wonder how many people that, live in disfuntional relationships and go on to either be victims or purpertrators of domestic abuse, become people practising illigal activites, end up in our prisons and sex industry, or are doomed to die from consequences set in motion as a result of these tragic 'events' (sexaul abuse or assult). I could probably write pages about, - my 'Chronic PTSD' and the symtoms (please note I don't support ACC's proposed requirement for a mental health diagnosis, it seems another sneaky way to 'write off symtoms' and try to claim less 'culpability' attributed to the 'event', eg, depression 'stemming' from 'other' sources, enabling less support to be offered... I think the whole perspective of having to prove what comes from where and what is allowed to be worked on a tricky issue, I can see the potentional for abuse, BUT I know for me this issue has actually added to the difficulty of my progress and added to my anxiety.)- telling you my story, my trials and tribulations with ACC, - the value to my life I have recieved after working out how I could avail myself of the services entitled to me- the expertise, qualifications and effectiveness of the 'treatment providers' that are able to assist me as a result of the ACC subsidies- the added anxiety and difficulties I have had over the last 6-12 months as a result of the pressure I've felt from ACC as an organisation- the gaps, problems in system, and propensity for decisions being seemingly driven by financial motivations instead of customer care and the denial of this motivation, that I have observed and experienced after years of being a 'customer' of ACC.
If there is anything I can do to assist in any way please let me know, anything from signing another petition to telling my story publicly (with the support of my therapists in a safe way).
I know that there is problems with the system that need to be reviewed, and that to have a total open ended system is unpractical and in situations can be unhelpful and even in some instances dangerous for the customer.
I know many of the arguements for reduced sessions, tighter restrictions etc, alot of the arguements have merit and definitly need to be considered and taken seriously, however what I always come back to is IF THE CHANGES THAT ARE BEING PROPOSED WERE IN EFFECT SEVERAL YEARS AGO WOULD I BE ALIVE TODAY AND ON MY WAY TO HAVING A FUNCTIONAL LIFE WORTH LIVING. The answer is not good. Is this system about the consumer, and helping the 'customer', or is there another directive?
I felt compelled to write this email after seeing the interview with John Key this morning on the TV3 Sunrise show. They were discussing the ACC 'Issue' and when the Herald Acticle and the sensitive claim portion of ACC was mentioned he seemed to be waiting to be able to shift the focus of the conversation, moving to talking about physiotherapy as soon as he was able. The only thing that he did say about sensitive claims was along the lines of that it needs to be about the big picture and not individual cases. I was shaking with anger. There is so much shame attached to these claims, and I believe that that makes it easy for people in power not to talk about it, whether they realise it or not they are playing on that shame, continuing the cycle of it being something not to be discussed. Part of the problem for me and I think with many people with sensitive claims is getting past the shame and fear in order to not have it rule our lives. Part of what happened was having my power taken away, losing my voice, being denied my basic human rights and dignities. It's one of the hardest things I've had to do to say that's not okay and try and deal with the repurcusions of that, and I really really don't need ACC, an organisation that is meant to be there to help, to be making that harder for me than it already is. Sometimes I get scared just looking at what I have to overcome.
I know this is a long, probably quite passionate email, but I know for many years I would not have been able to get these words out. I have come a long way, apparently I have alot to be proud of (sometimes I am able to see that more than other times), but I know how much more hard work I have to do. I worry of the consequences of me not being assisted with that, or it being made even harder than it has been. And I worry for all those out there who have not found their voice yet, who may never find there voice, and I think it would be terrible if the inadaquicy of the 'system' ended up being part of the problem and not part of the solution.
Once again if there is anything that I can do to assist that more care is taken with changes that are made, someone else that I can forward this email too, or anything else, please don't hesitate to contact me. I know that you must have alot of support, and I would just like to offer my gratitude for your efforts at generating discussion and 'shining the light' on this issue.
Warm regards
..........................."



Phew....so much more I want to say... maybe it might take a few posts and days to write all the injustices that have occurred over the last few days...