ACC, PTSD & Me

This is an email that I sent (then sent snail mail also) on Monday of this week, it took me over 10 days to write. I was debating WHEN to post it on here, whether I should wait to see what happens. But at the mo I'm not doing so well, not really managing, so I thought to try and maintain as much transparency as possible with my blogging I'll put it on here now, while I can. It is a response to an ARTICLE BY DENISE COSGROVE (click to see), which I know to contain FICTITIOUS information

"6 July 2010

Denise Cosgrove
General Manager
ACC
PO Box 242
Wellington

(via email)

RE: DANIELLE MARTIN, CLAIM #***********

Request for Official Information

In relation to your letter to the editor (link: letter to editor by Denise Cosgrove) in response to the Sunday Times story highlighting my claim, under Section 12 of the Official Information Act 1982 I request ACC provide me with the following information in relation to my claim:

1. The number of Subsidised or Fully-financed therapeutic services that ACC has funded under my Sensitive Claim (with a clear distinction of the type of service).
2. The costs ACC has incurred for the different types of treatment in relation to the above.
3. Any and all documents, correspondence, reports etc relating to ACC’s interactions with ‘working with the ADHB’ about my Claim, or Care.
4. Any and all documents, correspondence, reports, referrals etc, pertaining to and showing ACC having “worked with the Auckland District Health Board to find a place for her at Segar House.”

I look forward to receiving the information in due course and within the OIA timeframes.

Regards
Danielle Martin

**********@hotmail.com
**********
**********
AUCKLAND ****

So, it will be more waiting.

And as for me, in March I found out there was meant to be a Review Hearing in the Disputes Tribunal Court on 6 July 2010. I just found out a couple of days ago that it has had to be adjourned with a new date to be advised (???) all because of ACC requesting more time to get further "Opinions" ABOUT ME. I feel very disheartened with delay after delay and with all the instability of the last few months, the total insecurity of my life, and whether or not I will be able to manage to get treatment for my Chronic PTSD.

I managed to scurry into the supermarket on Monday morning, I'd been out of food for a couple of days, but Molly (my beautiful dog) had eaten the last of her dog food the night before, so I just had to do it.

I'm probably not making alot of sense, feeling really overwhelmed, tired and anxious. I am now really, really scared of having to go to sleep, and wondering how much and how graphic it will be when I relive it in my dreams tonight, the latest thing that just started in the last week is it is the first guy that raped me, and instead of biting and cutting my lips (which is actually what happened) he is using a needle to sew my lips together while he lays on top of me, doing what he does. Who would want to talk to me or be my friend when that is what I wake up from and am trying to escape from everyday. That's what a therapist is/was/might-be there for I guess, someone trained and paid to talk about getting my life back on track, helping me practice to keep myself safe, create structure, and to somehow make some sort of life for myself. It wasn't my fault what happened to me. Through my therapy my nightmares were down to 3 or 4 nights a week before ACC disrupted my therapy, and I had over 3 months up without cutting (self-harm) myself, might sound silly, but I was so so proud of myself. Anyway it's not like that now. Not a night goes by without some re-visitation of the men that tortured me.

Anyway, I am probably rambling, I just wanted to check in and wanted to post the letter above, say thanks to the people who in thought or action have been showing some care with what is happening.