When I took Molly for her walk today I had to go to the Chemist and pick up some scripts so I bought a new hottie, it was $9.99.
I'm on a benefit, after paying all my bills I had $20 left for the week for food, and I just spent half of in on a piece of rubber.
But the thing is that my last power bill was huge, I don't totally understand why, I have a small oil heater. It's not like I have lots of long showers or anything. But I know the rates have gone up. And then my mortgage went up this week, so that's an extra $30. So I can't afford to have the heater on much.
So I really need my hottie. I use it even in the summer, for easing of pain that I get 'down there'. For years and years I've had Urinary Tract Infections and some Kidney Infections, it started when I was quite young. And the pain is intense, indescribable really. So either you've had one, and you know what I mean or you haven't and then you'll need to ask someone else to describe it cause I'm not so good at being accurate about the 'down there' stuff. Anyway, what has happened over the years is that it's gone from taking 24-48hours to being in agony and only really help-able with IV antibiotics in hospital to taking about 20 minutes to being in the same state with it being difficult to walk or stand.
There is an article "Psychiatric Disorders, Sexual Trauma Linked to Urinary Tract Symptoms" CME News Author: Pauline Anderson CME Author: Hien T. Nghiem,MD
This is a quote from the article:
"A new study not only confirms the relationship between psychiatric disorders and lower urinary tract symptoms (LUTS) but also shows that the effect of such symptoms on quality of life is more dramatic in women with depression, anxiety, or a history of sexual trauma."
It really just goes on to talk about a study showing a relationship between women having ongoing problems with UTI's and Sexual Trauma.
Anyway, it's all alot of technical jargon really, but the thing is that it was actually quite validating for me when I got given a copy of that article last year.
This has been a 'problem' that has altered my life for over 20 years, and because of where it is, it's something I have difficulty talking about. And the thing is as well is that I don't think sometimes people understand just how sick you can be with this and not really 'look' it on the outside. It can be really bad and the only noticeable visible symptoms is perhaps that I am quite pale or pasty with dark smudges under my eyes. When actually 'the burn' as I call it is awful, often peeing blood, and most days, these days, if I go over 12 hours with out taking pain medication in my back on either side below my ribs it feels like I've been booted on either side. It takes about an hour a few pills and several cups of hot water to be able to move.
The thing is that this probably just sounds like a whinge. But it's awful waking up from a nightmare of being raped with burning 'down there', it's hard to try and do things like walk Molly and get to appointments when the pain is bad.
For the 12 months up until October when my therapy was disrupted by ACC I had only had TWO visits to hospital as a result of this.
For the previous year it was about THIRTY visits.
I firmly believe that stress manifests physically. I know that when I was in therapy and 'getting better' that it also equated to my physical health improving to a more manageable, less painful level.
Anyway I've got my new hottie for tonight, and what have I really got to complain about, I was cold last night, but not as cold as sleeping under a bush in the rain in the middle of winter aye, and I guarantee there will be people out there tonight in the open somewhere trying to stay warm.
Just a girl, trying to stay warm.
I get terrible period pain - I wonder that has the same connection with sexual trauma as UTIs. I use wheat bags rather than hotties. I wish I could make you one! Do you have a microwave? I'm having a terrible week esp with ACC issues so I'm glad you wrote.
ReplyDeleteI think you have good cause to whinge and I am pretty sure most doctors would agree with you that stress can affect your health.
ReplyDeleteAs for your power bill, it maybe your hot water cylinder as they tend to use up a lot of your power. Without seeing it I'll take a wild guess... either it is not insulated, you have a leaking hot water tap or if there is water running down your roof from the overflow the thermostat is not working properly and it is 'boiling over'. The overflow should be a copper spout on the roof above the cylinder.
Sorry I cannot be much more help.
Thank you 'Anonymous', I imagine that it is similar. My psychiatrist describes it like having a sore shoulder when you are a volley ball player for example, you are going to be more affected because of your sore shoulder, and also things in your life will have more effect on the pain. Kind of a chicken and an egg thing... but all it really means is the beginning of scientific evidence, studies that are pinpointing what alot of us believe, that 'whole body' wellness verses 'whole body' sickness. And that for me going through almost everything Urological and Renal test known to man, always knowing deep down that when the nightmares and the flashbacks are worse, that I get sicker 'down there'. Similar for period pain like you describe. I don't have a microwave! But I have heard wheat packs are fab.
ReplyDeleteAnd Chris... thank you for still reading and commenting, I'm sorry I can't be more interactive. I think you are right about my hot water cylinder, when I first moved in here I 'found out' that there were over 5 leaks in the original plumbing in the floor, so $3,500 (borrowed!) got all new pipes, but couldn't stretch to do the cylinder also. It is the original from when the Unit got built (so older than you or me!), and it's high up on the list of things that need doing around the house when possible.
I think part of the reason the power bill went up so much was a combination of the really cold weather and my place has no insulation at all, and I did get a letter from the power company telling me of the increase in their rates. It just feels like it's all happening at once with increases and the GST hasn't even gone up yet!
I appreciate your support and hope you are well.
Yeah old places are expensive to heat... I grew up on a farm in a 1920s circa farm house. It got cold. That also brings back memories of frozen flats in Christchurch (literally frozen!!) where it was warmer to have a cold shower in winter than to stand around waiting for it to warm up.
ReplyDeleteNo worries about lack of inter-activeness it is totally understandable. I would be the same if I was in your situation and you are doing an admirable job. Anyhow I cannot give up on you now. :)
Since your cylinder is really old I would suggest as an interim solution is to get a hot water cylinder wrap. It is like a blanket for hot water cylinders and just straps to it and stops it from radiating heat. Unfortunately it cost money and I don't know how much it costs or how much it will save you.
How do you know how old I am?? Did I let it slip that I am becoming an old man?? :p
I am well... only feeling cold and got hayfever. Thanks for asking.