one of the things that i haven't written about is all the secrets. i am not allowed to talk about any of this stuff to one of the significant people in my life, i am not allowed to discuss it (clearly spelt out in email, NO TABOO SUBJECTS to be discussed), or anything else 'difficult' in any way. i have been told that it is human nature to not want to talk about this sort of stuff. i just spoke to that person, trying to explain the difficulty i am having in meeting those requirements, especially right now when everything hurts so much. another significant person who probably should have been present in my life alot more than they were recently emailed me saying they doubted that i could be trusted, so if they were going to consider assisting financially with my treatment it would have to be through another party. i am totally honest and reliable with money. but it doesn't matter, another person that says i am not worth trusting.
soon, acc wont even need to worry about me. i will most likely end up either drinking or using drugs soon, and then we all knows where that leads. and it will be a big yay from denise cosgrove and peter jensen, we all knew that danielle was a bad egg. even her 'significant close-ones' will be able to confirm it.
sshhhh! its not to be discussed!
I don't understand how someone would think you untrustworthy. Even if there is something you have not told us, it does not matter.
ReplyDeleteYou come across as a kind and caring person. I don't see you as a bad person, just someone going through hard times and wanting help.
Don't give up! If you need help whether it is financial, emotional or otherwise don't be afraid to ask. I would be willing to help if you wanted me to.
Abuse in all it's insidious forms is all about Secrets and Lies.
ReplyDeleteThings done in secret and thats is the power of the Abuse and abuser.
Keweping the secret gives it power, exposing the secret to the light of day destroys it's power.
One though has to be really careful as to how they expose those secrets and to whom they display them to as the toxitity surrounding the secret can have wide ranging effect.
Dannielle, you don't need drink or drugs, that just another veneer to cover the hurt
Hi Danielle
ReplyDeleteJust read your post. Dont give up the fight girl - not only do they then win, but you lose as well. It takes a huge amount of courage to survive what you have, a huge amount of strength, and a huge amount of compassion. You have not only survived, but you had the courage to go one further. You went public as well. You have the admiration and silent support of so many survivors - I know that doesnt equate to the support you could get from a counsellor, but we are all behind you, every step of the journey.
If you need to talk, flick me an email - courageouswomen@xtra.co.nz
Kia Kaha my friend. You are an inspiration
Tania