Okay, I am not feeling particularly 'together' right now. So this will just be a couple of statements from me. As usual there will be more I could and probably want to say.
- Out of the '20' or so counselors, psychiatrists, therapists etc that I 'went through' before finding the truly amazing treatment providers that I had been seeing , ONLY TWO OF THESE had ANYTHING to do with ACC or my Sensitive Claim. Obviously the first person in 2000 that put through my claim and I only saw her once or twice after that initial visit. And one other. As you would be able to see from other information in my blog posts I have been through many different avenues, both through public and private services. So the remainder of the '20' different people were paid for by myself (up to $350 an hour for one of them) or were someone like a Psychiatrist on duty doing an psychiatric assessment when I ended up in hospital after a pretty serious suicide attempt (a few years ago BEFORE I engaged in the effective and productive therapy I was engaged in). Can't really be bothered saying more on the subject, except irrelevant of the medical practitioners name does anyone say 'right there joe blogs, now don't you think you've had enough chemo and radiation treatment' (spoken in the same tone as speaking to a greedy child).
- I would also like to make clear that my ACC SUBSIDISED therapy has always been just that, SUBSIDISED, therefore a portion of the financial cost with me also paying a portion of every session also.
- Many thanks to the supportive or understanding blog comments, twitter comments, and other messages I have received since the article was put out in the Sunday Star Times. I DEEPLY APPRECIATE the support. I know that public opinion can be fickle and there will be people that either do not understand or have a negative judgement on me and my story. The biggest point of the story needs to be that you can remove my name and the specific details and it is the reality for many kiwis today. There are people out there who have been raped in the last week who cannot access help to deal with this right now. I implore anyone who may not agree with me speaking out and trying to access help now to at least stay open and see the bigger picture with this issue.
I'm planning on publishing some more of the correspondence from ACC on my blog over the next 24 hours. For now I am practising my 'safety skills'. Tuesday night tv is always helpful (monday night telly not so great!) I have been on the phone to the crisis team about an hour ago, and even though there is some difficulty for me talking to a stranger if I am still distressed later on I will phone lifeline. It is my responsibility to do everything possible to stay safe.
- Lastly (for now) I unfortunately do not have control over the effects of my PTSD. I was getting better, now I'm not so good but I don't want to give up just yet. I know it might be hard to understand if you haven't been through trauma or have no understanding of what it is like to be raped and tortured, if you think I am being dramatic then have a think about what someone would have to do to me to require a doctor to have to remove an item driven so far against my cervix that there was no way it could be removed without medical assistance. I am not choosing to dwell on those events. I am constantly trying to live in the solution, I don't understand why I get to relive these events when I go to sleep. I know that in some countries that if people, especially women get raped they risk there own lives if they let people know. Maybe it is too much to ask in New Zealand for me to get assistance with the effects of these events. BUT it's not okay for ACC to try and say that the best thing for me CLINICALLY is actually what is best for them FINANCIALLY.
Phew. As usual heavy blog. I know I probably sound defensive, probably cause I'm feeling that way, and I am endevouring to be as honest as possible here.
Oh, and Dr Peter Jensen, I also don't particularly want to go to Rainbows End either (re: Segar House), doesn't mean that it doesn't make some people happy, isn't a good place or there arn't wonderful people that work there etc. It just means that I would like my well-being and treatment decisions to be the best and most appropriate for my symptoms and condition. I am also pretty sure that ACC can't refer to ADHB services without their knowledge and approval.
Just a girl, in the world, going to watch telly.
I hope you are OK today.
ReplyDeleteI know that these supportive comments from concerned strangers is helpful to you, although probably quite strange from your perspective. But for myself at least I don't think this is all that can be done for yourself and people in your situation whether it be survivors of sexual abuse or people with depression.
Is there anything we can do as complete strangers to help?
Hi, just wanted to say that you are really brave to put your story out there like this.
ReplyDeleteParticularly on the blogosphere where some v rude people use anonymity to say things they would never have the guts to say to your face, if they wanted to critique your situation.
My Mum works as a counsellor and I know that her work is essential and not a luxury or extravagance for the people she is treating. Counsellors themselves are not in it for the money (in fact, perhaps local GPs are more likely to be prescribing certain medications because of subsidy benefits or relationships with drug comapnies) so there is no way that the sensitive claims section of ACC is some kind of cash cow for patients and counsellors to scam the system.
Hey sweetness, thinking of you today (as I have been all week). Lots of Love xxx me
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